Process Counselling

Can you recognise the signs of Burnout?

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 14:50:00 +0000

Many people find themselves running on or close to empty – working, worrying and juggling a variety of daily demands.

A starting point can be to distinguish between stress and burnout;

Stress is a response to external pressures; it is often short lived and will dissipate once the external stimuli has gone or been resolved.

Whereas burnout is a long term emotional state, that if usually the result of prolonged stress that unresolved gradually brings us to a point of emotional , cognitive and physical exhaustion and depletion.

Freudenberger initially introduced the concept of Burnout in the 1970s and then went to develop a stage theory of the process of burnout and how it develops:

The compulsion to prove oneself; a sense of proving our worth, value and competence.

Working harder; increasing the level and depth of work taken on, trying to live up to the expectations.

Neglecting own needs; keeping work demands front and centre at expense of own necessary self care such as sleep, social activities, meals, etc.

Displacement of conflicts; this is a form of emotional suppression as inner conflicts that arise from over working – unhappiness, doubt, exhaustion etc – are either ignored or “rationalised”.

Revision of values; work becomes the main focus, friends, family and hobbies become undervalued and neglected.

Denial of emerging problems; the suppression now merges to a denial.

Withdrawal; pulling away from social contact and emotional connections, feelings of isolation may be starting to increase.

Obvious behavioural changes; by now others can see you are struggling.

Depersonalisation; a sense of identity has now started to erode, people often report the sensation of watching their own life play out as if an observer.

Inner emptiness; feeling hollow, anxious or desperate.

Depression; the emotional side becomes more noticeable for self – overwhelming sadness, hopelessness and worthlessness.

Burnout syndrome (collapse); exhaustion (emotional and physical), feeling at a breaking point or even crisis point.

Some of these seem to overlap a bit around the middle, and I’m not a huge fan of linear models as I think we can move around between most stages of any process – depending on the demands and circumstances.

Burnout is very real, and if we don’t keep an eye out for the signs, then we can push through the stages outlined above without really realising the path we are on.

How can you stay ahead of burnout?

Boundaries – a therapist’s favourite word!
Habits – don’t neglect self-care.
Disconnect to re-charge, not escape – this is another type of boundary.
Listen to your body!
Values – its worth a check in from time to time to see if you are living in line with your values.

BurnBeing aware of burnout is the key first step, being aware of the different signs and stages give you the opportunity to spot if you are heading in that direction earlier on.

Are you a "People Pleaser"?

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 13:56:00 +0000

Most people like to do nice and kind things for others in selfless acts from time to time, but there is a line that can be crossed when this stops feeling like a conscious choice and actually becomes a pattern in interactions where it might feel more of a compulsion or obligation.
People pleasers usually…

Find it very difficult to say no to people, even if they don’t really want to do what they been asked to do.
Fear that people will reject them if they say no – “If I don’t help with this they may not ask me to involved again” or “they will stop inviting me and move to someone else”.
Apologize for things they really don’t need to apologise for.
Feel anxious about how other people value them and the opinions others will form of them.
Agree with other people (even when they disagree) to avoid conflict and be liked by others.
Have low self esteem and need validation from others to help them feel good about themselves.

Being a people pleaser can be draining, having boundaries that are easily stepped over can be tiring, there’s rarely “me time” and even when there is it can be associated with guilt.

Where does people pleasing stem from?
We are interactive beings, we learn from past interactions how to get attention and how to keep ourselves “secure” in relationships (secure a word being used hesitantly here as the security might be false or very superficial – but we seek security and can hold on to anything that gives us that feeling, even when inconsistently felt).

So how can I break this cycle?
If you are reading this and recognising yourself in some of it, don’t panic!

Develop that awareness – are there certain people or situations that exacerbate your people pleasing behaviours?
Practice saying no!
Have a go at expressing your needs and opinions to someone – people pleasers generally forego their own needs in favour of making others happy and meeting the needs/wants of others.
Assess your boundaries – which ones are often being crossed, or in fact where you see no boundary – what would you like to put in place?

How can therapy help?

What is our Window of Tolerance?

Tue, 17 Jan 2023 20:03:00 +0000

Put your hand up if you have ever thought about (or actually done) taking time off work when things have felt a bit too much!
The discussion of mental health in the work place is becoming more common – and for good reasons.
The statistics vary depending on the source you read, but the general consensus is that employee symptoms of mental illness/poor mental health can negatively affect the workplace:

In recent research (MHFA England, 2022) up to 33% of employees asked said they would like more support from their employers in accessing help for mental health, the same source suggests that since 2019 there has been a 25% increase in annual costs brought to businesses due to mental health and that through investing in support for staff businesses will the financial benefit as it would bring a decrease in absenteeism, presenteeism (I’m not tired of my new word yet!
In my work as a therapist, nearly all of my clients (that are either employed or self-employed) report in their earlier sessions that one* of the signs/factors that brought them to me was a that they had noticed an impact in their work due to how they felt mentally.
*Not that this was the key reason for coming to therapy necessarily, but that it had been one of the few/many reasons they had decided to take action in seeking help.
So how can you help your employees, which in turn could help your business?
It is suggested that for every £1 spent on mental health support for staff companies could gain just over £5 in saved expenditure.
Many bigger companies buy into staff wellbeing packages that can give access to telephone therapy, but many studies have shown a preference from clients for face-to-face therapy.
There is also the case of a social responsibility for staff welfare and the link between staff receiving support and a lower of risk of grievance complaints being made against company management.
To go back to the title question of this piece, you could argue that it is not the job of the employer to pay for therapy for staff, BUT ….